11:42pm

sup.
i realized earlier i haven't talked to tia today. not a lot. twice i tried texting her. she'd stop texting back in the middle. oh well >_>.
i remember two years ago, april&i were sitting on the planter waiting for her mom to pick us up. she told me i'd end up like -enter name here- and i'd be a junior hittting on freshman. i said i wouldn't. guess what? i'm a junior and my girlfriend is a freshman. haha haha ]: that doesn't mean im going to leave her though [: fuck you april ]:
i feel like i'm putting a lot of stress on myself. i got a text from someone earlier(probably someone from trumpet section) saying i have practice tomorrow from 1pm-330pm. i have practice every monday and wednesday now. i also have to memorize show music. and i need to do it soon because i'm going to have a hard time marching and playing if i don't even know what to play. i dont want to just march the show. i have to do all my permit shit this summer. i started DE last night, it's boring. i don't like reading. "yknow, if you put your goals in front of you, reading is easy." i'll try that. and on top of that, there's tia, my girlfriend. it doesn't sound like a lot. but i dunno, i'm really stressing over it. maybe i'm thinking about it too much.

~macaroni michael

04:33am

yeah, anyways. i was talking to tia. 'till she fell asleep. or is just ignoring me cause im boring.
and i realized again that i have no social skills. i cant keep a conversation going, nor can i keep up in one. whether its my girlfriend, exgirlfriend, family, whoevers. and i feel bad. every. single. time. they wanna talk to me, but then i act like i'm "not interested". i am interested. but, i dont know. i dont know what to say.

my girlfriend? yeah, i love her. i really do, and i want this to last for a while, but i dont know. how can i do that, and i can't even talk? and i dont know. some times i get those big feelings that she doesn't want to talk to me. either that, or she's bored out of her mind. tia, i know you say you don't care and don't feel bad. but i do care, and i do feel bad. it's been a whole year since i've felt like this way about someone, and i can't even show it. but i do love you. and you know that. i'm sorry.
my exgirlfriend? yeah, she even told me earlier that im too quiet. even when we were back together. she told me i act like im not interested in conversations. i even complained that she wasn't talking enough. no, guess who's fault that was? mine i'm sorry.
my family? everytime i hang out with my cousins, i'm always scared to ride in the car with them. they try to talk to me so much, but i have no words. i'm sorry.

i try. every fucking single day. i try.
this was a new years resolution. and i have failed.
okay, i just wanted to vent because tia fell asleep again. and yeah.
why is it i feel like crying now:(

~miracle michael.

12:24am

sup world. or just matt because the only one following me. sup matt. LOL.
woke up at like what. nine yesterday? fell back asleep, and woke up again at eleven to my mom yelling at me to go eat. but i fell back asleep until one i think. then i got a text from my girlfriend asking me what i was doing, and that she'd be at diamond plaza with her friend. i thought about it.

-passing-

went to go eat. i barely ate >>" i haven't been eating regularly ever since summer started/school ended. i'm probably going to lose more weight if i keep doing this. my girlfriend weighs more than me :(. oh well. then i went to shower.

-passing-

mom left to sams club and the mall at like 3. sister stayed home with me because she had to go grocery shopping for the beach later with cousins and everything. i was singing and she fell asleep LOL. then my mom came back. and then my cousin came to pick up kristine and they left. and my mom left again to go buy stuff to give my cousin for the beach. and i didn't wanna be home alone, so i went to go see my girlfriend at diamond plaza.

-passing-

got to diamond. went straight to infinity just to see what was up. fat mexican guy playing c.viper. hella hot viper. starslayer was there. she's really pretty in person. hehe hehe. went to boat and found tia and justine. watched tv mostly lols. thumb wars with bebs hehe :] she switched my hairtie with hers o_O. justine left to go talk on the phone. i got stuck with tia lol. i didn't talk a lot. like always. i felt bad :(. what's wrong with meeeeeeee?! meh. anyways, then they left. i met tia's mom hehe!

-passing-

met up with yeong and eric. play left 4 dead at egames for like an hour. yeong and erics computers kept fucking up so we had to keep moving around. finally got everything to work. played blood harvest as zoey. always gotta be zoey ;). got up to like chapter 3 and time was up. yeong dropped me off home.

~ magical michael

05:34am

it's 05;34 am right now. why am i still up? i honestly have no idea.
and i have to wake up early. holy shit. maybe i should sleep soon.
cause i mean, i'm not even doing anything. except maybe that i'm
playing with the celebrity collage on myheritage, but that's it.
and my girlfriend is asleep, so i'm not talking to anyone.
i just realized i haven't really talked to her earlier or yesterday. wao.
i already worked out earlier, so that's out of the way.
my arm grew 100 times bigger after working out two days ago lols. weird.
but they are playing michael jackson videos on aMTV. i was kind of
sad when i heard he died. i really wanted to meet him. RIP MJ. you did well.
yknow, i haven't really heard chris tucker say anything about MJ. he looked up to him. hm.
oh well. im gonna go get me some tampico, get in bed, and play rhythm heaven.
or something. or cooking mama. or finish pokemon. or study for permit shit.

~mustang michael